Friday the 13th....the Wrap-Up

Hey....this is it! It's over.

So - the first thing here is that I was born on a Friday the 13th. I thought that might be a fun reveal at this moment. Perhaps it's why I gravitated to trying to cover this series, I don't know.

What I'd like to know from everyone is - what's your favorite & least favorite Friday film? Where do you think this franchise lands compared to other big horror franchises? Where do you think Jason lands as a villain? Would you like to see more Friday films....or have they exhausted the concept?

I really enjoyed doing this. Some films I had seen before, some I hadn't. But I think I enjoyed the experience of going through the films knowing I was going to try to write about them more than I enjoyed actually watching some of these films.

The experience satisfied two sides of my personality. There is the side of me that likes to intellectualize and analyze....but there's also the side of me that has fun watching boobs and blood. These films weren't meant to withstand critical scrutiny, but they are no doubt fun to sit back when you've had enough of the world and just have some fun for a little bit.

It's an interesting series in that we, as the audience, are really a lot more like Jason than we are his victims. We watch Jason slash his way through 12 films made over the course of 29 years. Of the 146 people Jason killed, it's hard to think of a single death that had any consequence or left any mark. Even in horror films, death can make an emotional impact. But as Jason felt no emotions or empathy towards any of his victims.....neither do we. We watch waiting and looking forward to the next kill....not caring at all about the consequences of those kills.

What is also interesting, yet a failure of the series, is that for all this time we've spent with Jason, we barely know a thing about him. We know nothing more about his history or family than what can be said in two sentences. He never speaks & hardly ever shows signs of having any sort of humanity. He is neither a killer we are actively rooting for or against.

As a whole, I'm sure some of the stronger Friday movies were better than some of the Halloween or Nightmare films....but Friday NEVER made a film as good as the original Halloween or Nightmare films. It never had that ONE movie that was truly a work of art. The failure to ever take the concept and expand on it in a truly successful way is the series' shortcoming. But perhaps with a villain as silent and inhuman as Jason, maybe that's a limiting factor that even the greatest filmmakers would have trouble overcoming.

Why was the Friday the 13th franchise so popular and so successful and ended up resulting in, to date, 12 films? I have to think that a large part of it is simple marketing. Jason looks fucking cool. He makes for a great image and the hockey mask has become so iconic that it has carried the franchise. Where would that series be without that mask? I think this is a rare instance of the parts being greater than the whole.

I'm going to try to attach a mathematical score to the franchise through a very simple rating method. 1 point for a film that I felt was genuinely good & fun. 1/2 point for a film that was OK...glad I watched it...wouldn't watch again. 0 points for the dreck.

I'm giving 1 point to Parts 1, 2, 4 and 6.
1/2 point to Goes to Hell, Jason X and F v. J
0 points to 3, 5, 7, 8 and the 2009 remake.

That's 5.5 points out of a possible 12. Which gives the series, overall, a 4.8 out of 10.

Friday the 13th (2009)

I actually can't believe I stuck with this & made it through this franchise. I'll post one more wrap-up after this where I'll try to gather my thoughts on the series as a whole....but for now - let's deal with the reboot or remake or whatever this is.

Having watched this entire franchise over the course of two weeks, the movies are all fairly fresh in my mind & I was looking forward to seeing how this one dealt with the old ones. I saw this in the theater when it came out and only remembered one thing about it - and that is what I consider to be about the most brutal death that Jason has doled out. These are campy films with campy deaths....but being strung up in a sleeping bag over a campfire and being slowly roasted to death is about as horrible a death as I could think up.

Oh...and also....there is Amanda Righetti.

They did a decent job of hitting some major plot points (to the extent that these movies have plots) of the first four films, so it's hard to classify this as a straight-up remake of the original film. But it also fails to acknowledge much of what came after Part IV, so it's also not really a sequel. It's a bit of this & a bit of that.

But, as with all of the post-Paramount films (although this film was actually a co-production with New Line Cinema), these are not so much Friday the 13th films as they are horror films featuring some version of Jason that isn't quite the Jason of the original films.

The Jason of this film is simply too conscious, too plotting & planning, and....too fast.

One thing that has made most of these films somewhat boring is that Jason seemingly has no Achilles heel. I mean, what villain doesn't have some method - no matter how small - of defeating them? Jason's only kryptonite appears to be the memory of his mother - it is the only reveal that Jason may have an iota of humanity. But this idea, which could have been interesting, has only ever appeared, until now, in Part 2. This idea, which could have been explored throughout the length of the series, ends up being nothing more than a plot device, a way to exploit his last remaining humanity for the final escape which we know must eventually come. The idea that Jason would actually take Whitney hostage is such an incredible betrayal of the character. To what end is he holding her? If he has enough intelligence to take her hostage, isn't he aware that his mother is already dead? I mean - he cares for his mother so much he keeps her decapitated head....above the toilet? Is Whitney being given food & water? She must be....for someone held captive for six weeks, she seems to be fairly healthy.

Giving Jason some actual humanity, some actual intelligence, wouldn't have been a bad thing to explore over time, and I'm surprised no film ever really tried it until now. But it's half-baked and leaves the film confused.

I know characterization isn't a big deal with these films...but let's talk about the group of friends - the one led by Trent, whose father owns the nice house on the lake. How are these people even friends with each other? Trent is the good looking rich kid with the big house who seems to hate fun and every single person who he took on vacation with him. "Don't touch that table"...."beer pong should be played outside"...."I don't want to go hiking"...."don't touch my boat". Not to mention how he treats Clay in the beginning of the film who just wants to find his missing sister. Fuck you, Trent....fuck you. You suck and I'm glad you're dead. One of the least likable characters in the entire franchise....his "friends" deserved better.

Cool to see Ben Feldman who plays Richie in the prologue of the film (the guy who gets his foot caught in the bear trip and whose girlfriend burns to death) who was great in Silicon Valley.

And, of course....*sigh*....Amanda Rightetti.

Jason X (2001)

So...a quick thought. The first scene in the first Friday the 13th film takes place in 1958. Jason X takes place in the year 2455. This means the timespan of the Ft13th franchise is 497 years. Is there any other film franchise that takes place over that length of time? Get back to me on that.

I had the bar set low for this one....real, real low. But you know what? This is a FUN movie. And how else are we to judge films like this other than a "fun" factor?

The formula of every Friday the 13th film is Act I (the set-up), Act II (Jason slaughters a bunch of characters who only exist to die), Act III (the final girl survives, Jason "dies").

It is Act II that is the stumbling block and as the franchise has aged, it feels to me that Act II has almost become a nuisance to the filmmakers. Something that needs to be dealt with in order to attach Acts I and III....whereas in the earlier films, Act II was the only real concern.

This film opens with one of the best Act I's of the franchise, in no small part due to the appearance of David Cronenberg who totally nails the role of Dr. Wimmer. Much like Netflix's 'Dracula', which refuses to take vampire lore for granted and tries to dig its teeth into that lore - I love the idea of the government simply giving up on trying to catch or execute Jason and, instead, use Jason's unique ability to regenerate to their benefit - which OF COURSE would happen. Sure - Jason is a supernatural entity, but he's a UNIQUE supernatural entity. It's a great opening and a great idea.

What we have in Act II is what we've always had in Act II, but instead of being in summer camp, we're on a spaceship somewhere. Hey - humans are gonna hook-up wherever we are in space and time. The hot blonde intern Adrienne, who I thought would survive awhile, gets it first in one of the series's best deaths....a frozen nitrogen face smashed against a wall into a million pieces. GREAT!

But what follows is as problematic as any of the other later films....and that is....I kind of no longer care about the sequence of deaths that I know must now occur. The opening part of the story is so interesting that this just now seems like a burden and the filmmakers seem to just want to get through it as fast as possible to get to what is one of the better final acts in the franchise.

Uber Jason is great and SHOULD have been left out of trailers and promo materials. Jason meets his match against a group who are - once again - willing to fight back and not just impotently waiting for death. I love Kay-Em 14 with her dominatrix bullet corset. She is a match for Jason and he seems just as surprised as anyone. The ending is exciting and helps the series come full circle.

Jason X, as much as it tries (and sorta) fails to be a good Friday the 13th movie....actually ends up being a pretty good sci-fi/horror movie, in essence, a poor man's Alien, but instead of a crew being trapped with an unfamiliar alien, a crew is instead trapped with a very familiar Jason....and you know what? It works. There is actually some real motivations to the characters in this film....and I appreciate the effort.

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (1993)

I'm beginning to think that the folks who make these films don't know what the word "final" means. But here we are....a new era....and a new watch for me. My initial reaction is to trash it...because it's not a great movie....but you know what? It's hardly the worst of the franchise - so let's talk about the positive.

We're now in the '90s....New Line Cinema now owns the rights to the franchise....there is no "Friday the 13th" in the title....the human dominoes are adults, not teenagers....and we don't get to see Jason's face this time around....although I guess the mask may now BE his actual face (and did we really EVER need to see Jason unmasked in the first place?....it was always anti-climactic to me....and his face in Part VIII was outright comical).

It can't be easy to take an idea that's already been done eight times before and create a masterpiece out of it...and....this is not a masterpiece. But I give a lot of credit for trying to do something different here. We have a larger world....we have characters who actually try to fight back....we have one (rather bizarre) character who understands the unstoppable nature of Jason & has a plan to rid the world of him permanently....there is an additional mythology to Jason....and heck - he's even got some family!

But we have also gotten very far away from the simpler times of the original films....Jason is now a full-blown supernatural entity - and is this REALLY what we want?

The filmmakers find a lot of time to have fun here, sometimes at the expense of its own franchise. The opening scene - which might be the best opening scene of any of the films and gave me hope that I was in for a genuinely great watch - baits both the audience AND Jason, with a scene containing the most generic of Friday the 13th-isms....the hot girl looking at herself in the mirror before stripping naked & jumping in the shower....and then running away through the woods wearing only a towel....because of course - if you're the FBI - that's EXACTLY how you would lure him out. We have become as predictable as Jason - and we were all caught off-guard.

And this isn't the only time the film becomes self-referential - when our lead male, Steven, drops a threesome of campers off at Camp Crystal Lake and says, "planning on smoking a little dope, having a little premarital sex and getting slaughtered?". There is a self-awareness that this is all formula - so let's have fun with it.

One of the greatest misdirections is the bounty hunter character of Creighton Duke (Steven Williams from 21 Jump Street), who I was sure was going to be the lead hero of the film - because he's the one guy who really knows how to kill Jason for good...and I guess he does - but he's also a complete lunatic who gives us some of the film's funniest moments. Breaking Steven's fingers while they're locked up as payment for information....or - the best line in the film - when asked by the reporter about what he thinks about Jason Voorhees: "That makes me think of a little girl in a pink dress sticking a hot dog through a doughnut."

WHAT???? That's the best line in history!!!

Some nice homages to other horror films too - Invasion of the Body Snatchers obviously, Nightmare on Elm Street, Evil Dead, Creepshow, The BIrds - and probably some I missed.

Nice to see Erin Gray who I grew up watching on Silver Spoons.

And huge kudos to Kane Hodder, who is barely in the movie, but plays both Jason AND Freddy....AND one of Jason's victims. That has to be one of the first times in history an actor played both the villain and a victim of that villain in the same flick.

But - in the end - the whole thing is a bit of a mess and a bit too far of a stray from the path. I'd say it's a better horror film than it is a Friday the 13th film, if that makes any sense.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

I just saw this one last summer so I thought I'd be more forgiving of it...but nope....it's awful and makes Part V look like Citizen Kane.

"Jason Takes Manhattan" is a real lofty title compared to what Jason ACTUALLY does in this film. Let's face it - the Muppets took Manhattan more than Jason does. In fact, looking at Jason's face - I'm wondering if he wasn't the Muppet that got left behind. This is more like "Jason Takes a Boatride".

This franchise has probably long since jumped the shark....but when you're taking cues from Crocodile Dundee (the whole fish out of water concept) - maybe it's time to hang it up.

The more Jason "dies" - the stronger he's getting too....Jason can now teleport! But Jason doesn't even get all the kills....camera guy shoots his friend (always make sure you're wearing your glasses before pulling the trigger), and even the lead final girl kills her teacher in a car crash....and - oh - half the kids go down with the ship.

I'm a sucker for films set in NYC - but it's obvious that all but a few minutes of the NYC scenes weren't actually filmed here. ("Here's a cheap spot to film - let's just throw a bunch of garbage in the streets - no one will notice.")

I did love the rocker J.J. (Joan Jett?)....who air guitars with an actual guitar & gets it way too soon. And how many times have we seen a terrible band and fantasized about impaling them with their own instruments? All the time, right?

Death by sauna rock is also great. But so many of these characters have all the time in the world to try to escape or run or make even an ATTEMPT at fighting back - but nope - too many times they just sit, watch, scream & wait a minute to be killed. I'm not sure if that's Jason killing someone, or simply "suicide by Jason".

To their credit, attempts at humor were made. Jason seeing the hockey billboard might be my favorite single funny moment in any of the films. Jason scaring away the group of "punks" (because punks and skinheads always hung out in Times Square in the late-'80s....even though - if you're trying to be consistent with the timeline of the franchise, we should be sometime in the 2000s by now) by simply lifting up his mask. OK...that's some funny stuff.

There's a lot to slam this movie for....but I think you do the film an injustice by trying to go too deep with it. And that's fine - if it's a fun watch - then all is forgiven....unfortunately - this really wasn't.

This was the final Friday the 13th film released by Paramount. At this point, we're at the end of the '80s, they sold the rights to New Line Cinema, and in many ways, a true end of the original era.

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

I was looking forward to this one since it's the first one in this series I've hit that I haven't actually seen yet (I haven't seen Parts 9 or 10 either). But I have a very scientific test for how much or little I enjoy a movie that I'm watching at home - and that is - how many times do I get the urge to reach for my phone while I'm watching it. Unfortunately - this one had a very high "did I get a new e-mail?" quotient.

If the Friday the 13th series is an album - this is a filler tune buried on side two that you won't remember a week later. I think the only thing I'll remember about it is that Bernie of Weekend at Bernie's is the psychologist with the ulterior motives (Terry Kiser).

If Part VI sounded lousy on paper, but ended up being a fun watch - this is the exact opposite. On paper - this one should actually be pretty good. You have a lead character who has the best chance of actually winning a fight with Jason that we've met so far and a few interesting deaths: the girl with the party horn through her eye and - of course - the girl who gets smashed against a tree while tied up in a sleeping bag.

The problem is: you don't care about a single character in this movie. The characters who exist only to be killed are so anonymous that there were times I saw one walk into a room thinking, "didn't they just get killed a few minutes ago?".

It gets tougher and tougher for every new team that takes on a Friday the 13th movie. You have to stick to a formula that everyone has now seen a whole bunch of times, but also find a way to make it interesting. I feel like the director here really WANTED to make a Carrie v. Jason type of film, which had the potential to be interesting, but he also had a find a way to shoehorn in the usual set-em-up/knock-em down formula that the fans have come to expect. They did a bad job at striking that balance and both sides of that story suffered for it.

Overall - not a fun watch - and off the top of my head, I'd have to say my least favorite of the series so far.

Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives (1986)

A complete tonal shift which transforms the series from a heightened reality to flat-out super-natural.

We have the third Tommy Jarvis movie....a character now played by three different actors in three different movies....and with zero continuity in personality or anything else from the previous one (and Thom Mathews performance is the worst of the three).

We have lots of deaths with very little gore.

We have one short sex scene and not even a nipple to be found anywhere.

We have ACTUAL children going to camp....who - by some complete miracle - all survive.

On paper....this movie should absolutely SUCK. But the amazing thing is - it doesn't...at all....in fact - this might arguably be the best of the sequels so far.

The humor works. The deaths are creative, if not overly gory. There is a larger sense of this world....which I think in no small part is due to David Kagen's excellent performance as Sheriff Garris, who is not so much a villain, but simply an adult who's been around the block a few times and doesn't live in a world where rotting corpses filled with maggots can actually escape their graves and go on killing sprees. The sheriff also gets it brutally at the end.

The real villain here isn't so much Jason who may or may not be an unthinking corpse just doing what unthinking corpse's would do (or is he?....it seems that if this scenario existed in real life, everyone of those kids would have been slaughtered...."so - what WERE you going to be when you grew up?" is one of the best one-liners of the franchise....so does Jason actually have some sort of moral code against killing children?).

But no - the real villain IS Tommy Jarvis. For all he knew about Jason - to purposefully dig him up and unleash him on the world when he didn't have to....getting his buddy killed right away (props to my buddy Ron Palillo who I completely forgot was in this film)....and a whole slew of others - including - potentially - a dozen or so children. Sure - in the end - Tommy almost drowns trying to kill him....but it's his own inability to let sleeping Jasons lie that caused the whole mess in the first place.

(The photo with Ron Palillo was taken in the early 2000s at Arlene's Grocery in New York City.  Mark Foster, the director of the Two Man Advantage documentary '69 Minutes of Fame' won the Best Director award at their annual film festival - The Groceries - and he was the guest host.  We hung out all night with him and bought him a bunch of vodka cranberries.  He was a genuinely sweet guy.)

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985)

I've had to find ways to keep busy while I've been out of work on disability and one of the more interesting projects has been writing critical reviews of the Friday the 13th film series.  I wrote these and posted them to the Red River podcast group, which is a group of folks who basically talk about music and movies all day.

I didn't really start writing these longer critical reviews until the fifth film.  This series easily could have, or perhaps should have, ended after Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter.  But....it didn't....and so these reviews cover the films starting with this one, right through the 2009 reboot, and one final wrap-up.

I'm in no way any sort of professional critic, just a guy who likes to write about things sometimes.  In fact, this is my first attempt at writing critically about film, period.  So, take it for what it's worth.  Either way, I had fun doing it and hope you enjoy reading them.  I'll try to post one review per day going forward.